Cricketophobia

I'm not much of a cricket fan, and i havent followed the game ever since i stepped into college, but i do have a vague idea of what went on this World Cup, especially with the Indian team.
Here is my version of what happened, through the eyes of an enthusiastic fan.Enjoy.

Jeetan was a harmless, average little man, with an above average love for cricket. But the events of the World Cup disappointed him so much that he severed all his emotional ties to the game, hence my using the past tense here.

Anyway, at the beginning of the tourney, he decided to make it a cup to remember for himself. Since it was above his means to go to the Caribbean, he decided to hold a party every time India played a match.

Before one such match, he had to take a bathroom break, much against his wishes, as India was batting first. Just as he saw the openers walk onto the ground on his TV, he left the room hurriedly.
Ten minutes later, he enters the room again, only to see his friends with their mouths open, and two men in blue walk off the pitch.

"What's the matter, guys? A drinks break so soon into the match?"
"No. You just missed the Indian innings. It's over".

Poor Jeetan. He couldn't stomach anything that day. His only moment of excitement was on seeing a figure of 100 runs against Agarkar's name, only to find out that those were his bowling figures. What made him feel even worse was the commercial that followed the match with all the men in blue proudly drinking their favourite cola, just after thrashing a team dressed in green (you know who).
Incidentally, a similar fan in Pakistan, just after witnessing his team's demise in a match that very day, was feeling a lot like Jeetan on seeing his men in green drinking their favourite cola (the same one), just after thrashing a team dressed in blue (no guesses again!).

Jeetan was not one to give up hope so soon, though. India still had a fighting chance, he thought, and his sentiment was echoed by numerous columnists in every Indian daily (who were just paid to do so, and who wisely liquidated all their bets on the team quicker than you can say "double standards!"). Bowlers from minnow teams who would go on to take his wicket in their next match against India still insisted Sachin was the best in the world, and Dhoni still had a street named after him in Ranchi, though his house was not so respectfully treated by irate fans.

The next match was slightly different, as the most proficient display of footwork by the Indian batsmen was not the walk back to the pavilion. As the opponents were minnows, playing their first cup, the batsmen were quick to notch up the runs and the bowlers the wickets, as they improved their career stats. After all, they serve as the best arguments in their favour as the postmortem on an eventual cup exit will be performed.

Jeetan was much happier, and even purchased several items of team merchandise like posters, and ambitious companies decided to launch new lines of player "action figures".It was a field day for cricket columnists, team selectors (who abandon "prodigies" with wilful abandon...remember Parthiv Patel? The poor chap who missed his boards for the team, and who is now left with a luxury condo in Amby valley and little else...), priests and cola sellers.
The party mood lasted till the next match, and was immediately followed by one of somberness and frustration of equal magnitude.
The outlook was very bleak, as our team was beaten to a shade of blue to match their uniform. In fact, normally amiable, straight minded fans descended into sarcasm so unlike them, as they jokingly remarked that an Indian version of a hat-trick should a scoring of three runs in three balls!

The earth was a much warmer place that night as bonfires of team posters rose high into the sky, as virtual smoke signals between towns and cities.
The only thing that took the fans' minds away from team-bashing was Pakistan bashing, as news of Bob Woolmer's suspicious "death" reached them. Soon, everyone was talking about the ISI's and the Taliban's alleged influence in the Pakistan team, and comparing the lengths of the players' beards. In fact, people went so far as to speculate on Yousuf's decision to convert and couldn't help feeling that Kaneria was next. The murderer was one in the team, they said unanimously.
"Our fans are much more civilized", they announced.This, however did not stop them having murderous plans for the Indian team.

In the middle of all this, Jeetan was standing somberly on his terrace, not caring about what people said. But something inside him did crack, as he awoke the next day, feeling as indifferent about Indian cricket as he did about his mother-in-law. The severing, which i mentioned before, was complete.

DISCLAIMER: I am an ardent cricket fan at heart (especially of the galli variety), albeit an out of touch one, but the victory or loss of our team does not affect my outlook on the game. I am proud of the stalwarts produced by our country, as proud as i am of those produced by any other.
Lets go ahead and enjoy the cup!